• I’ll Show You What’s Under The Blanket

    My Mumsey told me that this happened to her in Liverpool England—

    “One time when I was riding on the bus, I sat across the aisle from a worried looking mother clutching the shoulders of her young boy. I couldn’t believe it—his head and whole body were completely covered by a dirty wool blanket, but I could see his feet kicking like mad and hear him crying. The other passengers and I tried not to stare—but we couldn’t help it.

    The woman tried to ignore us, but after the bus had gone a number of blocks, she said, ‘OK, OK, I’ll show you what’s under the blanket!’ and she pulled it off. There sat her poor boy with a white porcelain potty stuck on his head!

    His mother looked at all of us trying desperately to hold back our giggles, and said, ‘He was playin’ and he got the potty stuck on his head – it was clean, now mind ya, but I can’t get it off so I’m takin’ him to the hospital.’ ”

The Whore Next Door is a memoir consisting of 106 short chapters – each accompanied by an original watercolor painting. It is slightly shocking, but not pornographic.